Cnut
 

I see this strange word used a lot, but cannot find it in any dictionary......

Any ideas as to it's true meaning?

**** knows . . .

Who is **** and what has he done with our cnut?

Wasn't Cnut the royal bloke who thought he could stop the sea?

I thought that was the artist latterly known as @Oh God help me I'm drowning!!!"

Actually,, [pedant mode=ON] he didn't think he really could order the sea back, rather he was p1ssed off with sycophantic courtiers telling him that he could do anything he wanted to because he was the King, so he organised this stunt to demonstrate that even his power had sharp limits. A realistic man (albeit with an exaggerated sense of drama :D ) rather than an arrogant pillock. [pedant mode=OFF]

I believe the correct meaning for cnut is "suzukiron"

:bm :bm :bm

er???
 

isn`t a cnut what you bolt your forks in wth?? well i got a cspanner anyway

big ears! who you calling **** nose!

I have to say that I believe a "cnut" has at least some value - unlike suzukiron...hehehe

As it happens..
They found the remains of a wooden sea wall at Bosham Harbour, (West of Chichester) that they believe was built by Cnut.
Therefore he DID defy the tide and stop it coming in. Who knows how these myths start eh?
Cnut was only 16 years old when his father (Swein Forkbeard) died in Gainsborough on Michaelmas Day in 1013. Swein had been attacking England for years, but his attacks had increased in ferocity after the good people of Oxford rounded up all the Danes to punish them (on Aethelred's orders). Some of the Danes, who were Christians, ran to the church for sanctuary, but the good people of Oxford boarded up the doors and windows and set fire to the church, St.Frideswine's. The people within were burned alive and since this included Swein's Sister, he was a tad upset. After he died, and ****'s brother Harald had inherited Denmark and there was no inheritance, Cnut persuaded his father's crew to stay with him and back his assault on the English throne, especially since Aethelred had ran away to stay with his father-in-law, Duke Robert of Normandy.
The Witangemot decided to ask Aethelred to return to England, Aethelred sent one of his sons to demand that the thanes and ealdormen renew their pledge of allegience to Aethelred and promise not to abandon that pledge, or he wasn't coming back. Stupidly, the Witan agreed .
Three years later, after some unbelievable savagery and double dealing on boths sides (but especially by ealdorman Eadric Streona of Mercia) Aethelred died and Cnut defeated Edmund Ironsides at Assenden in Essex (although no-one is sure where that is) after the Essex tribe the Maisthevians changed sides at the critical moment and turned against Edmund. Eadric Streona was blamed for that, then again he was blamed for most things.
Edmund and Cnut met at Alney in Gloucestershire after Streona persuaded Cnut to sue for peace. Cnut controlled all of England with the exception of Wessex.
So, Erike of Lade (Cnut's brother in law) controlled Northumbria after the execution of Uhtred.
Thorkill the Tall controlled Essex
Streona controlled Mercia
Edmund controlled Wessex
Cnut controlled London
the Seven boroughs of Danelaw remained
Places like Oxford remained open and neutral.

Edmund died mysteriously a few weeks later (some theorists have it he was assasinated by Stgreona who booby-trapped a garderobe that fired an arrow up his jacksie) and Cnut took over Wessex and became crowned king of England. He even married Aethelred's widow, Emma of Normandy, referred to by the Saxons as Aelgifu.. There then came nearly 30 years of peace and prosperity as Cnut turned out to be a diamond geezer and a good king.
So they all lived happily ever after.
Except Eadric Streona, since Cnut had his head cut off shortly after and gave instructions that his head and body were to be thrown over the walls of London and to be left unburied.

I could of course, go into more detail, except I don't have any books with me...................

loony, can you look up 'tnuc' while your at it m8
;)

its easy really loony, here is the definition that you require:

cnut=loony

:bm :bm :bm

Did he patent this? Sounds like an interesting bike security project....:eek:

Scary huh?
I'm assuming the assassination was along the 'no visible injuries' lines, like the red-hot poker up the bum. (wasn't that one of the Edwards?)
According to one book about Edmund's son, Edward the Exile, the 'arrow embedded itself in his fundament so not even the feathers were visible'. Ow!
For a bike security project, I think if one were to proceed along the lines of a Claymore mine one wouldn't be far adrift...
:D


Talking of neat weapons, the airbase I'm at in Uzbekistan is home to a squadron of Spectre Gunships. Take a C-130 and bolt a 105mm howitzer under one wing. Apparently the plane moves 20ft or so laterally when it fires.
The squadron motto is: "You can run but you'll die tired". Cute.

I now have the mental image of Hamster running in my head. It's not pretty.

Hi, howyadoin? (G'day is out of favour apparently). RP2 here reporting from the sunny South East.
Temperatures are currently varying between the mid twenties and the mid thirties. Today it's about 27ish and there is not a cloud in the sky.
Mrs RP2 and I are living in Seaford. A mere 1/2 hour or so from the bustling metropolitan centre of Melbourne. The beach is slightly too far to walk to, but is within easy cycling distance now the RP pushbike has been suitably fettled (well, apart from finding and fitting a seat that doesn't hurt my ar5e).
The sale of the old Russian Police station in Ecrodnya went through eventually so we are living off of the profits and are not worrying to much about jobs until next year.
Arthur Scargill was left in the UK with my Dad with the hope that having a bike that actually ran might inspire him to get working on the two that don't
Flossy is here but has only just been released from the clutches of Customs and Quarantine and has not been delivered yet. And when she is she'll have to be registered which will take time.
But I have purchased a new bike. Bob Fleming is a 1986 Suzuki GR650.
A DOHC parallel twin which I had to buy after taking a test ride and being smitten by the exhaust note through the decidedly non-standard pipes. He sounds just like a Bonnie I used to know...
Pictures soon. Probably. If I can be bothered...
Australian drivers BTW are abysmal. My theory is that the boredom of driving at the needlessly low speeds they are limited to causes brain rot.
Anyway, must go now and chuck another stubbie on the barbie. Toodle pip.

*runs in and waves to RP2*

sounds good, carry on

*goes back to pretending to be busy*

G'day
Since next year is only 18 days away, that's hardly a big deal now, is it?
If the pictures of Bob Fleming are anything like the ones you sent me, they won't be a lot of cop btw. All I got was a bloody great big white square with a small red x in the top left corner.

It was probably too technical for you:D

RP1

Hiya RP2, I was wondering where you were hiding.

Gday is NEVER out of favour :eek:

Innit.

yes. we will have none of your antipodean nonsense in here

You know you'd hate it if I took my antipodean nonsense elsewhere :)

Also, the actual dictionarial translation of antipodean means "on the other side of the globe". So in fact, YOU lot are the antipodeans to those graced with being able to live on the Southern Pacific side of the world.

Its just this imperialistic pommie thing that we-of-the-interrogative-sentences live on the other side of the globe from the dictionary-writers.

Q. What's the diference between Australia and natural yoghurt????




















A. One of them has some sort of culture.:bm :bm

The girlies might understand this one.
 

One of them is also a method of getting rid if an irritable cnut.



It worked for us when we sent the convicts there.



And RP2!!:eek: :eek:








;) :p :D












*runs away and waits for a flaming by men with corks dangling from their hats*

Re: Cnut
 

It means.......C U next Tuesday......... oh that's not right...... you said cnut didn't you.

:fl

but those of us who were the dictionary writers of old,and not the convicts, decided thatyou bunch should be the antipodean folks. Now we just dredge it up to annoy the crap out of you...

You can do that much better (and faster) by mentioning the Monarchy and what a thoroughly good bunch they are.